Written October 16, 2015

 

I look up at that date and it seems nearly impossible that it’s 2015. How on earth did that happen? How on earth did I become this old?
The last few years have been a whirlwind of unbelievable highs; but also lows lower than I ever thought I’d experience. Graduations, watching your children start to become adults, trips, reconnecting with soulmates….and conversely children leaving the nest, your mother and single biggest influence in your life succumbing to Alzheimer’s, children experiencing unbelievable challenges and then struggling to find your own place in the world. Wondering if you just want to be “island fluff” or if you want to dive in and tackle something so much bigger than yourself that it makes you nauseous.  Feeling that God has forsaken you at times and not being sure if you even want to grow closer to him; because in all honesty you are intensely angry with him about a few things. {I have to be real…otherwise this is for nothing.}
And so here I sit and wonder to myself what I’d change if I even could do it over again. Honestly I don’t know. I doubt that I’d change too much. I’d be a better parent, a more patient and trusting friend. Don’t think I would necessarily take more risks. Well, other than I would have INSISTED that we buy Google stock on the day it went public instead of just suggesting it.

A crossroads may just be where I’m standing. Do we ever even know when we are at a crossroads until we’ve moved on? I don’t really think so. At least not very often. But maybe, just maybe I am recognizing this one.

So now it’s October 28, 2015 and I do believe I am at a fork in the road. One path basically keeps me on the path I’ve been on mostly for the last almost 21 years of my career; worker’s compensation. It’s an odd entity; particularly for a nurse. It’s a thankless, tedious and often frustrating job. People who want to get better, cannot and those that could don’t want to. The process has become so laborious and time intensive to meet all the right criteria from each particular insurance company and keeping it all straight takes an administrative assistant of your own. Then meet Oasis Senior Advisors. A new concept that is just emerging onto the scene as the “silver tsunami” starts to roll across this nation. They place folks, at no charge to them, in the right senior living facility. It may be independent living, assisted living of memory care.

Could it be that this is what I’m supposed to do? Could the God that I’m somewhat angry with at times be blessing me by placing me in the crossroads where all the events of the last several years could be working in conjunction with my expertise as a case manager in order to orchestrate something magnificent not only for myself and my family, but for the other families that I would work with? Imagine helping other families find wonderful places for their “moms” just like we found ours for mom. “Monarch Ministries” could get a rocket booster for sure. Could that be? Could it be that all my hopes, dreams and plans for my future could be set into motion? Training and education about dementia and aging topics. Wow. Just wow. I’m at a loss for words. My book! What a platform for launching my writing career.

I’m compelled to write this all down as I don’t want to forget any of what is happening, just in case. Just in case this is the beginning of the things I’ve hoped and dreamed of for so long. Other events in the recent past I wanted so badly to chronicle and I did some with mom, but it was so painful. Others simply weren’t allowed and had to be put into my mental storage to hopefully someday be transformed into a novel so moving and deep that it would rivet the soul. Such an amazing story that will be someday. God, please do not allow my own memory to vanish before it could all be written.

November 11, 2015 and I’ve entered into the validation phase with Oasis Senior Advisors. After sifting through the financial disclosure documents of three other companies; all within the home care arena, it became quickly obvious that Oasis was the route for me. Few, if any, employees, no brick and mortar, flexibility, low investment… And above all, I’m in love with this company. The owner is a Christian and they even have prayer calls. Praise and worship occurs at their annual convention. Okay….in 2015 that’s just unusual and so very cool. So I’ve said good bye to the others; at least for now and it wasn’t even difficult to do. It just felt right. Starting to work through the financing portion of things, planning a discovery day in Baltimore in about a month.

December 16, 2015 and I’ve said YES!!! Yes to Oasis Senior Advisors. My discovery day was fantastic and everything seems to be aligning. I’ve prayed so much the last few weeks and months about this. Praying that God would show me his will and that he would shut and open doors in accordance with his will. It is not difficult to tell that there isn’t a door that’s been shut. Quite the opposite. In fact, if anything they have opened even further. I cannot help but walk through. At least I don’t feel I can do anything but! Everything about this feels right and feels that it could be what God really specifically created me to do at this point in my life. Waiting almost a month to get started feels like forever right now. I wish I could start today. But a good infrastructure for my business must first be built, from a corporate name, to office supplies and training. But I am excited. REALLY excited. ☺

Fast forward to today; July 6, 2016. It’s been nothing short of a whirlwind. I hit the ground running and February 1, 2016 was my official opening day. I’ve met what seems like thousands of people and helped several families find the best place for their loved one. I’m growing, learning and feeling more fulfilled in my career than I have in my entire life. Yes, there are times when I’m overwhelmed with emotion for these families and what they are experiencing and yes, that can be draining. But I would not change it for anything. If I can bring some calm to their storm and help them through then I know without a doubt that mom would be so pleased. I have no doubt that just a couple weeks before she passed that she handed me the baton. The baton that she carried through this race called life that she ran so exceptionally well. I know all of us girls carry a baton from her. This is mine. Mom, I want to run my race as well as you ran yours. I miss you and love you so very much. You inspire me every day.